Alf’s anxiety is so real in this, and the way they try to convince themselves it’s just shopping makes it even more intense.
The Cyclops scene had me on edge, especially with how easily he handed over something as dangerous as nightshade. And then the Witch’s request—three items, five days, and riddles instead of answers.
There’s definitely something more going on, especially with that strange card Alf pulled out. I can’t help but wonder if the Witch has a hidden agenda or if Alf is just overthinking.
The way this story builds tension is really well done. What do you think Alf is actually getting into?
Could it be that Alf is overthinking AND the Witch has a hidden agenda? Who knows? Alf certainly doesn’t haha.
I’m so happy to see this story pulled you in! I wrote this story initially as part of the FFF challenge, so I haven’t gotten a chance to decide the direction it’ll go in, but I think it’ll be just as compelling
Definitely need more of whatever world you’ve created here. I was so wrapped up the ending caught me off guard. I really enjoy the way you leave the reader wanting to know more about the young lad, and the dialogue is very natural. Very effective writing. I Look forward to seeing more!
Thank you so much! It was really difficult to contain myself to just the 1500 words for the challenge. But I love the way it turned out, and exploring where it goes next is going to be a lot of fun <3
Ok sorry but you need to change pronouns...occasionaly you refer to Alfie as a young lad... then most of the time you use they them thier pronouns. Is it a He or a trans person
This was great! Despite the cliffhanger, I felt you ended it at a really good spot. We got the full story, but it left a good amount of mystery for a second chapter. I also loved how unique the characters were, like the Cyclops shopping for rubber ducks. So good!
Alf’s anxiety is so real in this, and the way they try to convince themselves it’s just shopping makes it even more intense.
The Cyclops scene had me on edge, especially with how easily he handed over something as dangerous as nightshade. And then the Witch’s request—three items, five days, and riddles instead of answers.
There’s definitely something more going on, especially with that strange card Alf pulled out. I can’t help but wonder if the Witch has a hidden agenda or if Alf is just overthinking.
The way this story builds tension is really well done. What do you think Alf is actually getting into?
Could it be that Alf is overthinking AND the Witch has a hidden agenda? Who knows? Alf certainly doesn’t haha.
I’m so happy to see this story pulled you in! I wrote this story initially as part of the FFF challenge, so I haven’t gotten a chance to decide the direction it’ll go in, but I think it’ll be just as compelling
Definitely need more of whatever world you’ve created here. I was so wrapped up the ending caught me off guard. I really enjoy the way you leave the reader wanting to know more about the young lad, and the dialogue is very natural. Very effective writing. I Look forward to seeing more!
Thank you so much! It was really difficult to contain myself to just the 1500 words for the challenge. But I love the way it turned out, and exploring where it goes next is going to be a lot of fun <3
Those pesky word counts!
Oh absolutely! Worry not though. There’ll be more of this story in the future 😌
I love this! I want more now! Lol.
Ok sorry but you need to change pronouns...occasionaly you refer to Alfie as a young lad... then most of the time you use they them thier pronouns. Is it a He or a trans person
?...had to stop reading because PRONOUNS MATTER
This was great! Despite the cliffhanger, I felt you ended it at a really good spot. We got the full story, but it left a good amount of mystery for a second chapter. I also loved how unique the characters were, like the Cyclops shopping for rubber ducks. So good!