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Jonathan Matei's avatar

Alf’s anxiety is so real in this, and the way they try to convince themselves it’s just shopping makes it even more intense.

The Cyclops scene had me on edge, especially with how easily he handed over something as dangerous as nightshade. And then the Witch’s request—three items, five days, and riddles instead of answers.

There’s definitely something more going on, especially with that strange card Alf pulled out. I can’t help but wonder if the Witch has a hidden agenda or if Alf is just overthinking.

The way this story builds tension is really well done. What do you think Alf is actually getting into?

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Edward.Marlo.Ruiz's avatar

Definitely need more of whatever world you’ve created here. I was so wrapped up the ending caught me off guard. I really enjoy the way you leave the reader wanting to know more about the young lad, and the dialogue is very natural. Very effective writing. I Look forward to seeing more!

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