Finally got around to reading this. I enjoyed it overall. it's a cool concept. Then I beome jerk, I think my biggest critisim comes from a lack of telling rather than showing and in that you kinda pull some tension away from the story. I think spending more time in the decent, making us as the readers question what they are seeing along with the protagonist would of been awesome. Never give us a definite answer, is this real? is this delusion? And maybe pull the rug at the end. I did something kinda similar in my story Artifice.
But in all it was well structured and a great concept that I would absolutely read more of. Good job!
These pieces could be fleshed out into an addictive novel. You have it all in this story.
Maybe not a novel, but a chapbook? Possibly
Awesome conclusion to the arc here, Hazel! This story was selected for a shout-out in today's podcast episode, so I'm excited to talk about it!
Wow that’s a huge honor! Thank you Bradley!!
I really like this story I think you should flush it out so much potential
Finally got around to reading this. I enjoyed it overall. it's a cool concept. Then I beome jerk, I think my biggest critisim comes from a lack of telling rather than showing and in that you kinda pull some tension away from the story. I think spending more time in the decent, making us as the readers question what they are seeing along with the protagonist would of been awesome. Never give us a definite answer, is this real? is this delusion? And maybe pull the rug at the end. I did something kinda similar in my story Artifice.
But in all it was well structured and a great concept that I would absolutely read more of. Good job!