Poem: What I Never Say

A poem about struggling to be positive towards yourself.

When morning meets my eyes, 
I don’t follow that sunrise with a smile, 
Wandering to the bathroom to start 
My morning with joy on my mind. 

When the mirror beckons a yawn, 
I stifle any attempts to allow myself 
A reminder of the good I exude– 
Instead razing positivity like shreds
Of facial hair during my sunup shave. 

Perhaps I prefer to omit my happiness
To embrace the value of another’s own. 
Or maybe I suspect I deserve to eat 
The dirt in which others step over.

Never allowing the simple pleasure 
Of telling myself the virtues that I exhibit, 
The things which form my structure 
And show everyone else who I am: 
The good things I never tell myself. 

So before work necessitates my attention, 
I draw close to the chair and sit before 
A screen burdened by an empty screen, 
Waiting an easing of words slowly typed. 

But as the seconds linger onward, 
I find myself running through doubt– 
Leaving any praise in the dust, 
Becoming a wasted attempt to uncover 
Exactly what I never say, or ever will. 

That I’m proud of who I am. 

---

Note: Aside from the poems I’ve been posting recently, I haven’t been working on much in relation to the blog. Poetry is one of the main ways I express my thoughts and feelings, and serve much like a stim to me. So, what I’m trying to say is: even if I’m not posting regular content like intended, you can always expect poems to pop up from time-to-time.

Also, I apologize for the continued lack of Author Spotlight posts. I want get those up and going again soon, but I just haven’t had the energy for them. Next month I want to continue working on my WIP Novel, which I’ve been putting on hold for a little while. Of course, working on that won’t be a part of NaNoWrimo, as I don’t support their organization whatsoever.

Thank you for reading these posts and being a part of The Potato’s Writing Box. This Substack wouldn’t exist without your continued support, and I appreciate being able to share my writing with you. It makes everything a little better.